Why is feedback difficult?

[wallwalker]

First of all, this isn't just about reviewing pieces of writing, be they original or derivative. This is about any sort of creative endeavor that can be done and posted in public places. Writing is the one that immediately comes to my mind. Maybe for others it's art, or photography, or knitting. It doesn't matter; if someone posts a thing online, in a place where other people can see it, it's a fair bet that they want some kind of feedback.

Sure, most of us create for the sheer personal joy of it and would probably do so even if they didn't get feedback. (Fact: over ten years ago I had written tens of thousands of words of what would have been a novel-length fanfic if I'd finished it, and all before I even knew of the concept of fanfiction, or that there were sites that hosted it. I don't remember exactly how I found out about these things anymore, but it was quite a revelation when I did.) But having someone tell us that they enjoyed what we did is a great feeling, and there's nothing quite like it. We all love it, and we all want more of it. (Flames are a different beast entirely, of course. Not really touching on that here.)

So, we all love to get feedback. But why is it so hard for so many of us, myself definitely included, to give feedback? Why is it that when we look at a thing we enjoyed, we smile over it, but then keep on going without leaving as much as a "This is really cool!" behind? Or, at best, we click the handy thumbs-up button that the website/archive provides, and then move on without anything more specific than that. (Don't get me wrong - I like getting likes/kudos, as much as the next guy. But the proportion of likes/kudos that I get to actual reviews is a bit lopsided, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. And I'm curious about just why that is.)

Part of it is a sort of performance anxiety. We're afraid that the review that we leave will not be good enough, or worse, will actually offend the author enough that the author will actually complain about our reviews. I've seen it many times, on various rant communities and personal journals. People like to complain about reviews almost as much as they like to complain about written sex scenes, and their complaints are as varied as complaints about written sex scenes. Some complain about reviews being too short, others too long. Some complain about reviews being too critical and detailed; others complain about reviews being too generic, too smiley and artificial. And so on, and so forth... after a while, once you've read too many of those, it's not that odd to start thinking something like this: Wait, no matter what kind of review I leave, it might just make this person angry. Maybe I should just lurk. At least that way I won't specifically be responsible for bothering anyone.

Part of it is just... well, we're human beings. It's just easier to click the thumbs-up button than it is to post the sort of review for whatever we're looking at that we think will accomplish our purpose (which for me is twofold: one, tell the creator that I enjoyed it, and two, let the creator know that yes, I actually paid attention to this thing that I'm saying that I enjoyed. And yes, that's a more of a consideration than you might think.) At least the thumbs-up button tells the creator that we DID enjoy it, even if it doesn't really have that personal touch. It really can't be mistaken. But words can be, so they're more frightening.

It's a problem that I've thought about tackling several times before. I have previously tried to do a review a day on some archive or another, usually one that was just starting out and didn't get a whole lot of reviews. I want to start something like that again, but it always ends the same way - I'll stick with it for a week or so, then start missing days, and once I've missed enough days I'll throw up my hands and quit, because what's the point if I've missed so many days? I've proven that I can't really keep up with it, so why bother?*

Part of the reason that I usually quit? Well, honestly, it's tough. Even the basic one- or two-sentence reviews that don't say much more than "I liked it, I really enjoyed this aspect of it, thank you for creating it" are tough for me. And that's partially because it's so monotonous. When all of your feedback follows the same basic format, well, after a while you get so tired of that format that it becomes boring, and you just don't want to do it anymore. But that format is safe; it's probably not going to offend anyone, and hopefully it'll avoid the problem of seeming too generic - or appearing to be feedback left solely in the hopes that the creator will click back to the reviewer and check out their stuff.** Leaving it behind in favor of something that might be more interesting, therefore, is a bit scary.

Also there's the same problem that I've always had with sticking to long-term projects. It's the reason why I've yet to run a successful community on my own. It's why I've resisted the urge to make a review_a_day or reviewathon community, because as much as I'd love to try to get other people in on this in the hopes that it'll inspire me to keep going, I know it'll happen in exactly the same way it always happens when I try to do something like this. There would be a few weeks of interest and activity, then I'll slip, and eventually just disappoint everyone else who joined thinking that I was actually going to be able to be a good long-term moderator.

(Seriously, if anyone reading this has had a better track record with these things than I have, or if you think you know of a more organized group who might be interested in some kind of reviewathon, and if anyone ever actually starts up a project that encourages and perhaps rewards people for committing to post a piece of feedback per day over a span of time and then actually doing it, please let me know. Maybe if I wasn't alone, I could feel a little more comfortable about it.)

Anyway. Until we can figure out some way around all of this - and if we could figure out a way around human nature we'd all be much better off by now - I'm going to at least try to be more proactive. Not just about leaving reviews - which I've been terrible at - but at thanking people for leaving reviews. Maybe people will leave more feedback if they feel like what they have left is more appreciated. Feedback is almost as hard for me as actually creating things. It needs to be rewarded too.

Once I wake up, I definitely have some catching up to do on that score. ^^;

* This probably explains why I'm having trouble with my health, since I end up approaching a lot of things this way. But that's another rant.
**...Not that it isn't going to be in the back of most reviewer's minds, but it's terribly bad form to be overt about it, isn't it?

Comments

[electric_butterfly]

My policy on feedback is usually, "If I have something to say, I say it. If I don't, I don't." Sometimes just saying "Thank you!" Or "I like this" isn't enough for some people, so they figure it's easier to leave a kudos or not say anything.

As for constructive critisism, I only leave that when asked to or if something is really itching at me, so to speak.

A "reviewathon" community would be a great idea. There have been fanfic review communities before, but they were mostly like ficbitches or something like that.

[dragovianknight]

On AO3 today, I found a Dragon Quest VIII fic of yours I hadn't read before, and it made me :DDDDD.

I can't remember if I actually commented/left kudos, though. *facepalm*

[wallwalker]

You did, and thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed it! :D

[renay]

I eventually got over this by using delicious and liking stories on my terms in my space. I would bookmark work I liked, and write what I liked about it and leave it public, so if fanartists did vanity searches they would find it (this is probably more useful in other fandoms that are not tiny where folks know they can vanity search) and then after a few days/weeks I would go and put that commentary as a comment to the work, too. Distancing myself from the commentary and the story helped a lot because I kind of...forgot the nerves? If I never get around to leaving the comment, well, that's okay. I gave myself permission not to feel bad because my delicious bookmarks are public and tagged and searchable and I promote them on my journal, so other folks can find them if they're looking for recs. The second thing I decided to do was stop caring what creators or people judging other people for liking what they like and expressing that like thought about me.

So sometimes I'm repetitive; that happens and it's okay. Sometimes I will leaving a flailing review, sometimes I will leave just a "this was lovely!" Sometimes maybe all I will do is hit a Kudos or like button. All of these things are okay, and I finally stopped caring whether people were going to resent me, or think badly about me, or whatever. Because I can't control them or make them think I am an awesome person, but I can control my own actions and in general I think there's should be more awesome stuff so if I encourage what I like, maybe someone will make more! But it's also okay if I can't that day and do nothing but bookmark it or share the link with a friend.

Because sometimes I think it's also about fear of being judged. It really was for me. It's fear that your one line of feedback won't measure up to the three paragraphs of feedback right above you (I run into this a lot, it's why I don't read comments on things anymore before I comment) or afraid that someone will laugh at you for liking something because they think it's crappy. I mean, it's definitely about other things, too. But in a lot of ways, expressing pleasure at work is just as nerve-wracking as creating work but no less valid. I mean, it's it's still not a comfortable place to me, but I'm finding it definitely more accessible and easier to accomplish these days. :)

[wallwalker]

It really sounds like you are where I want to be, eventually. :)

(Have you heard anything new about the future of delicious lately, by the way? I haven't lately, but I haven't really thought to look, and I won't have time for a few hours.)

[renay]

They're trying to sell it, last I heard? But I am operating under the assumption that it's going to survive as a product! There are still people working on it, so it hasn't been parked. There were some service hiccups a earlier this month and they got fixed super fast, so I have a good feeling that Yahoo won't shut it down itself because it would be terrible PR.

I probably don't make it a secret that I wish Final Fantasy fans would use delicious for work they like re: recs because I think it could do a really excellent job of connecting us WRT fanwork and encourage more interactivity. But, sigh, I will just keep dreaming. *g*

[stealth_noodle]

I am sort of terrible about reviewing. If I'm participating in a fest or an exchange, I can usually push myself to leave comments on most of what I read, but in most other situations, the process goes like this:

Unless I finish the story with specific comments already forming in my head, I'm likely to hit the kudos/like button and move on. If there's no handy button, I'll fret for a while over what to say, wonder if I'd feel stupid for saying something as simple as "Neat, I liked this," and quite often just move on without saying anything.

I tend to read when I want to relax, so I also tend to prioritize my lack of stress over leaving feedback. Sometimes that means just reading without even the intent of leaving feedback unless something really jumps out at me; sometimes I leave stories open in tabs so that I can write something later when I have achieved relaxation (this does not always happen). I do want to get better about leaving feedback, though, so that I can encourage people who are creating the kind of stuff I enjoy.

[seventhe]

I have gotten worse and worse at commenting because I more and more read fic either at work on my lunch break, or on my Blackberry, neither of which is really suited for efficient feedback. :/

I have always wanted to do a review-a-thon or something of the like myself, because I like feedback in general but FF fandom ALSO seems like it's just... a black hole of non-reviewing. But I never really know how to do it.

[wallwalker]

Hmm. That would make it a bit tougher, yes.

I'd thought about several ideas to do with the review-a-thon. Daily themes came to mind ("Review a gen story today!" or "Review a story set pre-canon" or whatever.) So did the concept of just having a review-a-day contest that spanned an entire month, then finding people to make banners for the people who manage it, or some such. But I don't have any hard and fast ideas, and I might just have to make a normal post sometime to test an idea out - just do a comment-based thing like, I don't know, a comment ficathon but in reverse. But I really don't know how to do it either, honestly.

[traxits]

Ooh! Daily themes sound cool! You could open it up to have people who reviewed their daily fic also post a link to it (maybe with a summary?) so that others can see what they reviewed. Then it would be a sort of review/rec list. ... Stop encouraging me. I don't think I'd be a good comm moderator. >.>

[traxits]

I have to admit, I like the idea of a review-a-thon. o.o That sounds like a lot of fun. Most of my problem is that I feel obligated to review whenever I read something, and so in an effort to not feel like a complete heel, I just... don't read things anymore. >.> Not a productive method of dealing with things.

Kudos buttons though! Those are AMAZINGLY awesome. Great for those fics where I just want to say, "I LIKE THIS." Because leaving that comment makes me feel badly, even though there's nothing really wrong with it. ... I might make myself feel badly over the silliest things.

[wallwalker]

I think we all do. I mean, think about it - if we've spent any time online at all we've seen someone rant about people who leave "I LIKE IT" reviews on stuff. But sometimes, that's all we can think to say, at least at the time. ^^;

[vilkacis]

Yeah, lack of feedback isn't going to stop me writing, but it will probably stop me posting it in a place where there's either no visible audience, or an audience that doesn't bother to comment.

I think you hit it right on the head with the performance anxiety. I actually find it harder to comment on other people's writings than to create my own, and it never feels good to leave a generic "I liked it" or whatnot (even anonymously). I've never been worried about angering the writer, though. It actually never crossed my mind that it might happen, since I always appreciate what I get...

and this is where I completely ruin the joke by not just posting "I like this post" and not going into specifics

[wallwalker]

I like this comment

[wallwalker]

...seriously, though, do you ever get the feeling that rants about fanfiction and feedback and such have done more harm than good in terms of promoting that kind of anxiety? Because the more I think about it, the more I think it has. But ranting is so easy, and I don't anticipate it going away any time soon. :/

[vilkacis]

Certainly, especially when the rants contradict each other.

I haven't seen a lot of these complaints in the fandoms I've been exposed to, so maybe it's just a general attitude thing. Like, anything with vampires in it is probably going to cause more wank than a sprite-based RPG from the 16-bit era. :P

[lassarina]

I also feel super awkward about commenting! Some of it is that I often multitask while I'm fic-reading, but also I feel like my feedback is formulaic, and also I'm horribly afraid I'm going to offend. *flaily hands* Social interaction, why so hard!