Is having goals hurting me?

[wallwalker]

I don't always read Cracked, but this one really resonated with me.

Link: Cracked: Five Popular Self-Help Tips That Actually Hurt Your Career (and presumably everything else.)

The third one - the fact that sharing your goals with others can actually make you more lazy and hurt your chances to achieve them - was the only one that really came as a surprise to me. They cite a study, and this is a summary of how it works:

Much like the "fantasizing drains your energy" thing, this comes down to the funny way our brains work and also the fact that we're all huge egomaniacs. By announcing our intentions to the rest of the world, we get a taste of the same recognition we'd get if we actually accomplished those goals. Unfortunately, for most people that small taste is enough and they'll be less motivated to follow through with their work.

And I can see it, because most of the time when I've told people about things I wanted, or even posted something publicly in the hopes of getting some kind of motivation out of people cheering me on, I never got anything actually finished. I just... fizzled out, because it didn't seem worth it anymore. Those monthly/weekly/whateverly goals that I post? Seemed to make it less likely that I'd actually do them, because I didn't feel accountable; I felt like I'd already done enough just by making the goals.

But... how do you deal with that? What about things where you have to have feedback from others? What about sharing, say, your writing with critique groups, which can be extremely helpful? What about when you have to make a plan to do something at work and you have to share it with your co-workers? How do you deal with that? Heck, what do you do when people ask you what your plans are? (As tempting is "I don't want to tell you because then I'll probably fail" might be, it would offend most people.)

Is the very idea of having goals hurting me? Because it really does seem to hurt me, whether or not I share them with anyone else. Is making the to-do list switching off some kind of "effort" switch in my brain, because I've already made the to-do list, so I've done enough? I don't know. I can't figure out how else to motivate myself to do anything, if I don't have goals. But I've seen this in myself over and over, and it frustrates me.

I don't know. I know that a lot of people who read this are planners, and it seems to work for you guys. Maybe it's just me? Do you have any thoughts?

Comments

[nan]

I can definitely see this. As soon as I talk about a project on plurk, suddenly that project becomes a thing that I just can't even with anymore, you know? Which is why I...don't talk about stuff with people anymore. ;;;;;

[thene]

thanks for the link! Amazing article.

Well, with writing, you have to have DONE it in order to share it with a crit group (or with fandom), so I feel like you get a self-reinforcing arc of awesome (with a few inevitable crashes). I guess the way to mess up there (and I used to do this when I was younger) is come up with plot and character outlines, share them, and then not do the writing, but if you're DOING THE WRITING then you are at the very least doing work and improving on your writing.

Goals and lists...see, my problem there is whether or not the things on the lists are meaningful activity. I am pretty fucking selfish about my time and efforts. I know I am only going to do things if they give me enough satisfaction to be worth the effort (or alternatively, if neglecting those tasks is going to do harm to my life). I'm not good at keeping up exercise habits unless they're either fun or useful. Running with my dog is fun, always taking the stairs rather than the escalator & walking home a couple of times a week is useful; but I don't maintain habits that give me nothing tangible for my time. So I am mostly one of life's pantsers, not a planner, but I get shit DONE once it crosses the threshold of 'necessary'.

Anyway, this! (Bless the internet, you put in a three-word google query and find someone has typed up the whole entire thing and dumped it on their webspace for you).

[stealth_noodle]

That is super-interesting! And hmm. Usually I find that talking to people about my plans helps as long as it adds accountability; if I feel like someone is counting on me to get it done, I'm motivated. I've noticed that I never accomplish anything I overplan privately, which is a) why I'm not a huge planner in the first place and b) why I don't share goals often. I hate having to admit that I didn't actually get around to something I said I would, and if I overextend myself, it's easy for that to go from motivating to depressing.

This is probably also why I am shit with self-imposed deadlines but very good with deadlines that other people impose on me, even if I have to do cram a huge amount of work into the last minute.

[lassarina]

^ this. I post publicly for accountability, and I post snippets to get people to pet and encourage me.