Oh man, this all rings so true for me. I feel like I'm in a very similar position -- I love writing, telling stories, sharing stories...but nothing can make me lock up faster than worrying about selling stories, worrying about how to write something "publishable" (whatever that's supposed to mean) or fretting about how to convince an agent/editor to give me a chance.
...and then I spent a lot of 2008 watching a talented friend beat herself bloody against the closed doors of the publishing industry, and that made it a lot worse. She was a good writer with interesting ideas, and she could actually finish books, which I could not! Why wouldn't anyone give her a chance? It was sort of terrifying.
When I sort of dismissively referred to my own interest in writing fiction as amateur, back when I was in school, the prof. I was talking to pointed out that amateur is, in fact, from the french for "lover": an amateur is someone who engages in a pursuit out of love for it. And that's always made me feel a little better about the word; it doesn't have to indicate sub-par skill -- it's really about one's own enthusiasm.
Good luck finding a new path! It's never as easy as we want it to be, but yes, people do it, and you can too. ♥
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Date: 2010-01-03 03:38 pm (UTC)From:...and then I spent a lot of 2008 watching a talented friend beat herself bloody against the closed doors of the publishing industry, and that made it a lot worse. She was a good writer with interesting ideas, and she could actually finish books, which I could not! Why wouldn't anyone give her a chance? It was sort of terrifying.
When I sort of dismissively referred to my own interest in writing fiction as amateur, back when I was in school, the prof. I was talking to pointed out that amateur is, in fact, from the french for "lover": an amateur is someone who engages in a pursuit out of love for it. And that's always made me feel a little better about the word; it doesn't have to indicate sub-par skill -- it's really about one's own enthusiasm.
Good luck finding a new path! It's never as easy as we want it to be, but yes, people do it, and you can too. ♥